guilty pleasures i should probably give up for lent

Like everyone else, there are some things I like that I just don’t want to admit to.  Most of them are childhood pleasures that I’ve never outgrown.  Sad, but true.  With Lent upon us, maybe I should give up a few.  But which?


Lent involves fasting, which makes me think of food.  So let’s go there first.



Count Chocula cereal.  Few things in life are as good as cereal that turns the milk chocolaty.  Is “chocolaty” even a word?  If it is, it probably shouldn’t be.


Pop Tarts.  Especially, chocolate fudge Pop Tarts, with icing, of course, but any other Pop Tarts with icing will do.  Pop Tarts without icing are of Satan.


Hershey’s chocolate.  Seeing a pattern here?  When I was younger, I used to love all kinds of candy, but as I got older, my tastes narrowed.  Chocolate connoisseurs sneer at Hershey’s, but what do they know?  Only one bad thing comes from Pennsylvania (hint: its name rhymes with “Filthadelphia”), and Hershey’s ain’t it.



Bacon double cheeseburgers.  As a middle-aged man with higher-than-average cholesterol, I ought not to have these, yet Five Guys is but minutes from my house.  Pair one of with McDonald’s French fries, the second-best potato product there is, right behind tater tots.  Remember when you were a kid and the school cafeteria was serving tater tots with lunch, and you felt like it was a holiday?  Yeah.  That’s what I’m sayin’.


Cheap beer.  My friends like to drink expensive imported stuff, or micro-brews with hints of raspberry and crap like that, but I’m just as happy—happier, actually—with Miller Genuine Draft or even an Iron City.  And that Tequiza crap with the lime flavor?  Love it.


Even *I* won’t drink Lone Star, though…


Let’s move on to some other things….



KISS.  I’m talking the original line-up during its golden era (1973-1977).  KISS was the first band I really liked.  Destroyer was the first album I ever bought, and “Detroit Rock City” was my favorite KISS song.  I wanted to play drums like Peter Criss.  When Joni and the kids are out and I’m doing housework, I like to crank the Alive! CD.  My poor, poor neighbors.


Warhammer 40,000.  I started playing 40K in 1987, but didn’t really get into it until 1994.  It’s a sci-fi/fantasy tabletop wargame set in “the grim darkness of the far future,” but mostly it’s an excuse to buy, build, paint, and play with plastic toy soldiers.  40K has filled the gaming void I’ve had since I quit D&D.  I like 40K so much, I have another site dedicated to it.



Go-karts.  Go-karts are like tater tots: I can never get enough, and I can’t imagine anyone not liking them.  For my latest birthday, Joni took me to this way-cool indoor go-kart track, and I can’t wait to go back.


Mini-golf.  Real golf is pretentious and expensive and boring.  Mini-golf is silly and inexpensive and fun.  The defense rests, Your Honor.


That’s about all I’m willing to admit for now.  Last year, I gave up cheeseburgers…I still don’t know what it’s going to be for this year.  How about you?




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